Umpires Truly Are Blind

Headbutt.

First things first, I gotta get this out of my system. "You gotta give the girl the bag." I feel better now.

You always hear at a stadium that umps are blind. Normally I would tend to disagree; yeah, they can make a bad call sometimes, but usually it's because it's bang bang, or they forgot they were supposed to be watching a ball game and just made something up. Anyway, it's a rough job, they're human, so you can be somewhat forgiving.

But last night, oh man. Imagine this scenario: company softball game, first and third, no out. Towering fly ball hit to deep left, runner on third tags and scores. No big deal, right?

Now imagine that I'm the runner on third. I tag, I score. Now imagine that the other team appeals to third base, and that the umpire actually calls me out. I wish I was kidding.

Here's what I saw (which is legitimately valid because I WAS THE RUNNER ON THIRD). I see a big fly ball, stay on the base (which I never left because it's retarded softball and you aren't allowed to lead), watch the ball into the fielder's glove, and then book it into home because I don't know what kind of arm this guy has. Let me repeat one important part: I looked the ball into his glove. Watched it drop in. His glove color was black, that's how much I looked that damn ball in. And of course, if that run counts, we win the game 13-12.

My theory: either it's speedism (because the ump, after watching the catch, thought, "there's no way that guy could be that far down the line without leaving early), or the ump is a blind, poor, worthless piece of garbage that should have gotten reamed up and down last night in a verbal tirade that would have put Billy Martin, Earl Weaver, and Lou Piniella to shame.

Next time I see that guy I'm forearming him in the chest. And that's just to start.

K bye.