I Think I'm Just Going To Close My Eyes and Power Through

Headbutt.

Just a thought: I had no idea I was so famous. Infamous? (I hate that guy so much, but not as much as this guy.)

I've decided to write (an scarily enough, illustrate) a children's book. Is this another "saved a manatee" story? Sadly, it is not. The idea of influencing the next generation of children with thoughts random enough to be constued as completely farcial, though subliminaly teaching them important life lessons such as sharing, the power of music, and the general importance of making of your own words and inserting them into your lexicon was too good to pass up.

So now I know there are a given set of questions running through your head: what will the plot be for these books? I thought all you can draw are stick figures? You do realize the significance and impact you will have? Will there be easter eggs?

The answers are: read to find out, it takes an hour to draw a page when I really concentrate, yes, and more than likely (including references that exactly 3 people will get, but then again, how is that any different than what you read here?)

Now, as far as publishing dates, MSRP, and sequels, I'm not sure. Like I said, it takes an hour sometimes to draw a page because of, well, because I suck. So the ETA on arrival is probably not sometime in the next week. But I do need test subjects. So if you know or have any small children that are not afraid of words on parchment, or of them one day growing up thinking like I do, let me know. I'll show them the power of a bear named Wally and talking pogo sticks.

Again, completely serious.

K bye.

I Wish I Had Thought Of This

Headbutt.

First things first: so pumped.

I was going to try and claim this as my own thought, maybe write a little story about it, but there are just some things that are so twisted, so untapped with raw comedic uber-powers that even I couldn't even think this stuff up. You know then that this must be some kind of mind-exploding tour de force.

A book was found entitled, "Idiots in the Workplace." After making all the preliminary jokes, we delved into this rich history of American entrepreneurship. We found such gems as "References - I have none as I have left a path of destruction wherever I work" to a story about a prospective employee challenging the interviewer to an arm wrestling match. In the middle of the interview.

However, there was one that stood out above the rest. When asked for his education on his resume, a man wrote, "I did not finish high school as I was kidnapped and held in a closet in Mexico."

I can't even make a joke about this one. In fact, I don't think I can ever top that.

It still makes me giggle when I think about it. Giggle like a little school girl.

I'll leave you now so I can finish giggling.

K bye.

I'm Back

A glorious welcome back headbutt to you.

First things first: gazebo, you are good to me. Thank you.

At some point last night, the writing jones crawled back into my skeleton and let me tell you, it tickled. But not only that, I became inspired, dare I say, motivated.

I have a feeling you can safely relax, and this motivation won't permeate into all aspects of my life. Laziness and a general sense of being moribund will still ensue in droves. But maybe, just maybe if you're all semi-decent boys and girls, this revolution will continue. Just watch out for those evil hamburgers.

And so as to not overdue my comeback in one stay (and because this was on screen for 30 minutes and I wrote nothing else)...

K bye.