What Good Are All Those Push-ups If You Can't Even Lift A Log?
No links, just goodness.
First, I pose a question. Have you seen the new Batman movie?
If you answered no that question, stop. Stop reading. Get up off your ass and go to a movie theater right now. See it. Embrace it. Thank me later. If you answered yes, good job. You aren't a slacker.
Why is the new Batman so good? Well, let me tell you something...
This Batman is dark. It's not like the last two Batman's, where there was all this color and shininess and whatnot. Sure, when you see Gotham in the beginning, it's full of light, but that's because it's supposed to be. Once mid-movie hits, Gotham's a slum. A hellhole. And it's great, because who wants to save a city that's all colorful?
Let's get this out of the way. Christian Bale. I had no clue who he was before the movie. Never seen him before in anything. Now? He's Bruce Wayne. Absolutely nailed it. His voice in the Batman suit? Downright frightening. Which is the way it's supposed to be. Christian, you may never read this (in fact, you won't read this), but excellent job my friend.
The leadup to Bruce becoming Batman? It was actually there. They explained how he became Batman. How he learned to fight. What his motivation was. Where the suit came from. How he got the gadgets. And not just with a flashback or something. The first half of the movie was spent building up the plot. Which is the way it should have been.
Michael Caine as Alfred? Simply amazing. He was the best Alfred ever. Michael Caine cannot die for the rest of my life, or age any, because he must be Alfred in every single Batman from now on. I demand this.
Katie Holmes? Solid. Not an outstanding role, nothing that makes you say, "Katie Holmes is the best damn actress on the face of the planet." She did her part, gave the guys something to stare at (and we were all staring), and that's it. So like I said, solid. Nothing more, nothing less.
The plot? Kind of crazy, but not crazy enough where you think it couldn't really happen. Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks this could happen. What this is I'm not going to tell, since it would ruin the movie, so go watch it to find out.
Gordon? Perfectly done. He's the good cop (obviously), and where he starts at, it's better than where you think. I leave it at that.
The Batmobile? Christ, I want one. It's like..... I have no idea. A small tank crossed with a Porsche? A Lamborghini on steroids, crack, and speed at the same time? Whatever you want to call it, it was cool as shit and I demand one right now.
It was surprisingly funny. You will not be crying and holding your side because you can't breathe and it hurts real bad, but when you are supposed to laugh, you genuinely laugh. Maybe laugh is too strong. You chuckle. Now that seems too light. Whatever is inbetween a laugh and a chuckle, that's what you do. It's a freaking good movie people, can't you get that by now?
As an added bonus, they set up the next movie too. No wondering who the villian is going to be. All set up rather tidily. Which is the way it should be.
So let's recap: Bale's voice is freaky in the suit, Katie is eye candy, I need a Batmobile, and Christopher Nolan directed one of the best movies I've ever seen in a theater. You read that right, and no I'm not hopped up on anything. One of the best movies in a theater. Ever. Period. Go away.
K bye.
First, I pose a question. Have you seen the new Batman movie?
If you answered no that question, stop. Stop reading. Get up off your ass and go to a movie theater right now. See it. Embrace it. Thank me later. If you answered yes, good job. You aren't a slacker.
Why is the new Batman so good? Well, let me tell you something...
This Batman is dark. It's not like the last two Batman's, where there was all this color and shininess and whatnot. Sure, when you see Gotham in the beginning, it's full of light, but that's because it's supposed to be. Once mid-movie hits, Gotham's a slum. A hellhole. And it's great, because who wants to save a city that's all colorful?
Let's get this out of the way. Christian Bale. I had no clue who he was before the movie. Never seen him before in anything. Now? He's Bruce Wayne. Absolutely nailed it. His voice in the Batman suit? Downright frightening. Which is the way it's supposed to be. Christian, you may never read this (in fact, you won't read this), but excellent job my friend.
The leadup to Bruce becoming Batman? It was actually there. They explained how he became Batman. How he learned to fight. What his motivation was. Where the suit came from. How he got the gadgets. And not just with a flashback or something. The first half of the movie was spent building up the plot. Which is the way it should have been.
Michael Caine as Alfred? Simply amazing. He was the best Alfred ever. Michael Caine cannot die for the rest of my life, or age any, because he must be Alfred in every single Batman from now on. I demand this.
Katie Holmes? Solid. Not an outstanding role, nothing that makes you say, "Katie Holmes is the best damn actress on the face of the planet." She did her part, gave the guys something to stare at (and we were all staring), and that's it. So like I said, solid. Nothing more, nothing less.
The plot? Kind of crazy, but not crazy enough where you think it couldn't really happen. Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks this could happen. What this is I'm not going to tell, since it would ruin the movie, so go watch it to find out.
Gordon? Perfectly done. He's the good cop (obviously), and where he starts at, it's better than where you think. I leave it at that.
The Batmobile? Christ, I want one. It's like..... I have no idea. A small tank crossed with a Porsche? A Lamborghini on steroids, crack, and speed at the same time? Whatever you want to call it, it was cool as shit and I demand one right now.
It was surprisingly funny. You will not be crying and holding your side because you can't breathe and it hurts real bad, but when you are supposed to laugh, you genuinely laugh. Maybe laugh is too strong. You chuckle. Now that seems too light. Whatever is inbetween a laugh and a chuckle, that's what you do. It's a freaking good movie people, can't you get that by now?
As an added bonus, they set up the next movie too. No wondering who the villian is going to be. All set up rather tidily. Which is the way it should be.
So let's recap: Bale's voice is freaky in the suit, Katie is eye candy, I need a Batmobile, and Christopher Nolan directed one of the best movies I've ever seen in a theater. You read that right, and no I'm not hopped up on anything. One of the best movies in a theater. Ever. Period. Go away.
K bye.
posted by Rich @ 7:41 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home